Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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