Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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