Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
