someone get that fucking seahorse.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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