i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you had me at cake vodka
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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