Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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