Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My vagina just recognized that song.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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