So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize