I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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