evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
