Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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