You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
