you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
