but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
