Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize