i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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