"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The best revenge is premature balding
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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