Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
