His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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