brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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