I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Boobs speak an international language.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
