after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
