I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
