saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
