After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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