i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize