Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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