You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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