He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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