Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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