bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
