my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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