Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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