In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
