I am midnight drunk by noon
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
