are you so shy because you have an std?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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