i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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