called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
