so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Acid is not a monday night drug
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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