so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
