you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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