don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't deserve a penis
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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