masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had to cum in my sink.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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