Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
