U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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