I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
