I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
