I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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