just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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