Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
