New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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