Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize