Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
