It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Text me some of your sweat
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