I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
