Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
