there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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