just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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