it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
