Your tits are I can't wait for
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
