Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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