Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
