yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
