i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
