I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
