I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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