if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
